Currently not available!

Sometimes, the smallest and the most trivial of moments make you realize some of the worst mistakes of your life.

Sometimes, a small software error in your phone that causes the “The person you are trying to reach is currently not available” statement to be heard by someone trying to call you, without you knowing about the problem, could be one of the best possible things to happen to you.

You first come to know about the 5 phone calls made to three of your friends within a span of 10 minutes, out of misplaced fear and unconditional love, by the person who tried to call you and failed to reach you.

But after learning about the phone calls to your friends, instead of feeling happy about such a person who is worth living your life for, you do the worst thing possible for someone in your position – you scold the person terribly for creating so big a scene with 5 phone calls to 3 different people for such a small issue.

Sometime later, you realize your mistake and dial that person’s number again and as you hear the “Hello”, you say “Sorry”, when you get another striking revelation – its been a long time since you had apologized to the person. You wonder for a minute if you had had such a good relationship of late, that you had never had had to apologize for anything, and as you think about it, your mind slowly puts before your eyes a slide-show of all the mistakes you had committed and all the harsh sentences you had used in the past 2-3 years and you realize shockingly that you never once apologized for all those incidents and it had been that person who had apologized to you, without even showing a tinge of anger for those incidents.

You think about the life you are leading now and you think about all the circumstances and all the people you apologize to, realizing what a grave mistake you had committed failing to apologize to the one person whom you hurt the most, of late.

You think back about all the memorable moments you spent together with the person and wonder what had happenned in the past 2-3 years that had separated you from the person so much. And it slowly dawns upon you. You had let a lot of new people inside your life, slowly shutting this person out. You had stopped saying about all of your experiences, like you used to say earlier, thinking that the person didn’t require to know about everything that happenned to you. You had stopped even  listening patiently to the few miutes the person spoke every night on phone, asking the person not to bore you.

As you try to digest all these within those few moments of saying “Sorry”, you hear the response from the other side on the phone – “Leave all that. Go and drink milk now when it is hot. Don’t delay. Go now immediately” as if none of the foolish statements, you had shouted some time earlier, had even been uttered. And a tear drop flows down your cheek.

You end the phone call a few minutes later and the tears start flowing faster. You wonder how you let yourself be so rude and foolish to such a person. You decide to never ever hurt the person again, as you wipe your tears. And you smile mildly a few minutes later, realizing that sometime sooner, despite all your firmness, you are going to shout again at the person for some silly reason and the person is not even going to remember your angry words when you call later to apologize.

You decide to post about all these on your blog. For a moment you hesitate, wondering if it would seem a bit childish. But then you think about the person and decide to post it no matter what, realizing that you are always going to be the same old “kutty” for the person – the first love of your life and the only reason you remain silent when others say that God does exist – your sweet little mom!