15 Aug 2018

Choosing hope...

A project that I am currently leading in my office is about to shut down in two weeks' time because of funding issues at the client's end. A teammate, during a conversation two days back, asked me if I had started approaching other teams in my office regarding available openings. I told him that I was still hopeful of finding a sponsor for our project from the client's side. He let out a chuckle. "Don't you think you are being too optimistic? Haven't you faced bad times? Are you a guy who believes in happy endings?" 
I understood where his questions came from. 

There exists a perception that being hopeful arises out of an inexperience of life's hardships, or out of naiveté. But why cannot hope be a choice?
Life does seem unfair more often than not but isn't it better to believe than to just buckle in?
Isn't it better to strive for a surprise or a shock than simply surrender?

I am not trying to romanticize suffering by the above lines. Suffering does cause a strain. 
But by succumbing and settling in a safe shelter, aren't we losing out on living a full life? With such an outlook, when would our hearts get to reach a high?

I tried explaining these thoughts to my teammate. His face turned curious. "But, doesn't losing hurt?" I nodded and added a learning. "Not putting in the effort hurts more." It is better to hope and get hurt than hold regrets. He was not convinced. I asked him to hope for hope. He laughed. 

****

When I began publishing posts here four years ago, I would start typing down a piece only when I had my thoughts structured in their entirety, from the start to the end. The content mattered more than the form. But as I persisted with the translation process of thoughts to text, I started falling in love with the writing process more than the idea. 
The endings of the posts started mattering less. I liked letting words conjure up sentences and come to their own conclusion when they could continue no more. 
I started writing simply for the sake of writing and not for publishing. 

I believe being hopeful is a similar process.
One starts putting in the efforts and starts staying positive not primarily for the outcome but for the simple pleasures of living.
A post might turn out good or bad. An event might turn out good or bad.
But one is always the better for having written/hoped.

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