Relationships and their plane of existence

"The other day, I was spending time with a special someone, and found myself questioning why our interaction is not more intimate."

My brother shared this quote with me from an article he had read. And he tossed off a piece of advice.
"... it seems always better to relish a companionship on a different plane than the one we wish for. In fact, sometimes, that plane could be much more efficient and less susceptible to the human melodrama that comes along with the other plane of relationships."

"If only my heart was as obedient as I was during my schooling!" I wanted to reply.
At times, I wonder if my heart is on a mission to complicate every relationship that it registers. I wonder if it maintains a tracker, wherein, if it sees a relationship sailing smoothly, it decides to spice things up for itself. I wonder if it simply likes to make itself heavier, just so it could remind me that it always surpasses the brain in my life.

I try to let my brain take the upper hand for a brief period, in the hope that understanding would lessen the impact of feeling.
I try to find meaning in my 'Data Analytics' occupation and plot my most cherished relationships in a graph. 

The plotting of my relationships shows me two things:

• My visualization skills need considerable improvement
• My generosity, based on the scores for the levels of intimacy, would make me the favorite of quite a few students if I were to become a teacher

But the graph also makes me realize something else.

The life of every average person consists of a series of peaks and plateaus through his/her timeline.

• The peak hit with parents followed by a plateau*
• The peak hit with siblings followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with school friends followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with college friends followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with a romantic patner followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with colleagues followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with a wife/husband followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with sons/daughters followed by a plateau
• The peak hit with grandchildren followed by a plateau

(*Agreed that every relationship is more than just a peak and a plateau. Such a timeline is presented only for easier understanding)

Through this timeline, one can observe that more often than not, as one relationship hits a plateau, another climbs towards a peak. For instance, when relationships with school friends seem to be following a straight line, the relationships with college friends start reaching a peak. And when the same straight line happens to occur with the college friends, a romantic partner might lead to a new peak.

This shows the constant urge humans express to hit new peaks in their relationships.

Humans, being a social species, their urge to hit new peaks is understandable. But what about the urge to strive for a higher peak in existing relationships? Why the aching to aim for a new high without the contentment for the plateau?

Maybe the most logical step to use the investment of time and efforts in an existing relationship to build upon it and take it to a higher plane? Maybe just the thrill to explore new places instead of settling for the normalcy? Maybe the fear to leave the vacancy in a specific relationship to time/universe/God and instead, try to add the extra burden upon an existing one?

For sometime, I try to imagine a world where people carry with them a graph of their relationships.

How much pain would be spared by suppressing unwanted expectations? How much gratitude would be shared by learning about unexpressed love?

But perhaps, the mysteries need to exist. What would life be without surprises and shocks and pain and unrequited love?

I request my brain to rest and turn towards my heart. It responds with a gleeful smile, starting to get heavier.

Who would this writer be without this heart?

Nameless

"What about that guy in the blue shirt?" he asked her
She concentrated hard, on the guy and his cigarette
The lines forming on her forehead reminded him
Of his cursive writing practices and his childhood poems
"He should be a Mahesh" she finally announced
Immediately, he disagreed
Not because he wanted to but simply because he liked to
Theirs had been a bonding built upon arguments
"Absolutely not. He, clearly, is an Arjun" he said
She threw him a stare that made him wonder
If it was the same stare she threw her mirror every morning
Examining that sleep had not turned her into a different person
He opened his mouth to continue the game
But she placed her index finger to latch his lips
"It is a beautiful night" she said
He shut up, letting silence seep in the small space between their shoulders.

The breeze blowing on their faces seemed introverted
There was more intent than what was expressed
A streak of red was visible across the sky
Maybe from the taillights of all the vehicles lined up in traffic to reach home
The people around seemed busier than usual
Like they always do when we live through our favorite moments
"Why should everything have a name?" she asked
Her questions were always abstract, deep and sudden
Like the questions of most little kids
And he always found it impossible to conceal his amazement
Like the immediate reactions of most proud fathers
"Not everything has a name. Look at the stars. Look at the plants..." he replied
Her face immediately lit up in its usual way
Her eyes closing like the leaves of a touch-me-not plant
Her smile growing like a crescent moon
"... or for a simpler answer, just look at us" he finished
Her widespread smile lessened to a grateful one
A thin layer of water appeared over eyes, making them shiny
He loved the layer for it always showed him what she did not share
She slowly bent her head down, registering the moment in her mind
Their shoulders touched, like the ends of unobserved earphones meet
The breeze blew harder, letting a hair strand from her head
Encircle itself over his fingers
He looked at her lowered head
Her hair strands and her stories seemed infinite
Similar was the warmth blooming inside him
He had previously felt it in his mother's womb.

The hero called Jackie Chan

On February 26 2017, as he stood beside the other 'Academy Honorary Award' recipients at the Dolby Theater, dressed in black, bespectacled, with a controlled-yet-expanding smile on his face, I punched my fist in the air. I wanted to scream 'Jackie!' at the top of my voice but I did not want to add to the Monday-morning-chaos building up in my neighboring houses and vented out my jubilation in my head.

I knew I was three months behind in my celebration - Jackie had been honored with the award in November 2016. But seeing Jackie bow humbly to an Oscar-night-applause meant more.

After the emotions settled, I was reminded of Jackie's amazing acceptance speech and how Sylvester Stallone had recorded it with his iPhone. The memory gently birthed another - Stallone's win under the 'Best Supporting Actor' category in the 2016 Golden Globe Awards for his role in Creed. 

One of my childhood heroes had been recognized last year. Another childhood hero, this year. I wondered if the next year would bring in a recognition for Arnold Schwarzenegger and complete the crowning process of my childhood-hero-trio. 

****

I remember vividly the Sunday mornings and the summer vacation afternoons when I would spread out a mattress and lie down before a on-life-support BPL television. The excitement to watch Jackie thrash the bad guys and save the day is still unparalleled. 

The Tamil dubbing would ensure that Jackie remained a closer-to-home hero. My movie watching experience would reach its peak as Jackie would break into any of the contemporary Tamil movie songs like 'Appidi podu podu..' in the middle of his fights. The love for the Tamil speaking Jackie was so intense that the first time I caught Jackie speaking English, it made me angry that Jackie had betrayed me by playing out to another language speaking audience. 

Thinking about it now, Jackie is an amazing hero to adore in one's childhood. 

In a good majority of his movies, Jackie's opponents would be taller and stronger than him and Jackie would not mind putting out in the open his fear, before a fight. Jackie is one of the few popular action heroes who shows it is not wrong to be scared of a stronger adversary.

Jackie also shows that it is okay to feel shy when approached by a member of the opposite gender. Though I admit that kids should be raised by being taught that gender should never be a barrier for communication, I also feel they should know that it is not wrong to experience shyness. Fear or shyness, after all, are emotions to be overcome, not emotions to be ashamed of.

Jackie, through many of his fights, is also one of the best teachers of resourcefulness. Any location could become his battleground and any object, his weapon. Jackie's creativity in the application of a tool is an important lesson for every kid growing up in these times, when a new gadget is designed for every minor task.

Finally, Jackie, through the bloopers at the end of his movies, shows the importance of mistakes for one's growth and the higher importance of having the courage to admit them. This is another important lesson for every kid growing up in these times, when many parents try to cover up the mistakes of their kids.

****

Jackie's recognition by the Academy triggered the rare union of the child and the film buff in me. 

The joy was unbounded seeing Jackie being a part of the same prestigious community as Satyajit Ray and Akira Kurosawa.

I wishfully think of a Goopy gyne Bagha byne starring Jackie or a Yojimbo starring Jackie.

And that is the power of great artists - They take us on an artistic journey even through the art they never expressed.