25/07/2014 - Won't you happen again?!

I looked at my watch. It was 1:10 am. 30 minutes had passed after my interview. For most of the students, the interview panel had let out the results as to if they had been selected or rejected within five minutes of their interviews. But 30 minutes had passed after mine and there was still no glimpse of a result. And as I was thinking about this, the last person from the group of students who had been selected for the final interview came out of the interview room. A few minutes passed and all the fourteen members who had come for the interview process grouped together and called all of us to gather before them. They were holding large envelope covers with offer letters. My heart skipped a beat. No one had told me whether I had been selected or rejected. My mind had reached its highest state of panic. I stood holding my breath as the names of the selected students were called one by one and they were handed the offer letters. Every moment that passed seemed torturous. I even began to fear that I might have a cardiac arrest. And then, for the first time in my life, I jumped out in the utmost joy when those two words were uttered.

"Soorya Prakash!"

I walked, rather ran towards the person who was giving away the offer letters. I extended my hand and received it from him. A few minutes later, as I opened the envelope and saw my name on the offer letter with the lines 'We, Mu Sigma business solutions pvt ltd. are pleased to inform you of our intent of extending you an offer of employment for the post of Trainee decision scientist', tears flowed down. 

July 25 was going to be a date forever etched in my memory.

It was not a job I had wanted badly but it was a job I needed. It was the first step towards forming an identity for myself and I looked at the offer letter again, smiling at it and wondering if there could be a happier moment.

I was proved wrong in about 10 hours!

****

Three hours of classes had gotten over at college. I had already been bathed in endless affection by my mom and my grandma when they had called me in the morning. Moreover, everyone at college were also congratulating me on having gotten myself placed. A fact that many people around me are unaware of is that I am a sucker for appreciation and I was living the happiest day of my life. And as things were really going great, something totally unexpected happened. 

A huge cake was brought inside our class room and my classmates gathered around it calling me forward to cut it. I became speechless. I had realized that my placement had made my classmates happy - the barrage of wishes in our class Whatsapp group had showed it to me so plainly. But I had never thought that they would go to such an extent to celebrate it. And frankly, I don't remember the 5 odd minutes that happened between me walking towards the cake to cut it and me walking away from it letting my classmates have their share. My brain had gone to so ecstatic a state that it had failed to record it. I don't know how I would have felt if my classmates had failed to record those minutes on their mobile phones, which luckily they did. 

And as I kept licking my fingers not wanting to waste even a tiny bit of the extremely tasty cake, one of my classmates told me to stop licking and handed me two folded sheets of paper. I took it from him and opened them only to be surprised further. There was a huge blowup of one of my childhood photos with congratulatory comments from many of my classmates, with their signatures below their comments on the other side of it. Another sheet had two photos of myself and one of my classmates who had accompanied me in the selection process of Mu Sigma till the 4th round, only to be undeservedly rejected. It also contained similar wishes all over it on the other side.

None of the wishes seemed as if they had been written just for the sake that they had to be written. Every single wish seemed honest and genuine. And as I completed reading every single one of them, I felt myself experiencing a feeling I had never ever felt before in my life. It was not joy. It was not happiness. It was not ecstasy. It was something else. A feeling I was finding very hard to relate to any of my earlier experiences until I remembered my mom describing me the feeling she had experienced when I had been handed over to her in the maternity ward. 

****

As I woke up today morning, I felt the feeling of immense joy still lingering from the previous day and I set out on one of my morning walks. And as I slowly kept roaming around our college campus, trying to recollect again and again the events of the previous day, I decided to do something I had not wanted to in a long time.

I walked towards the small 'Vinayagar' temple that was located in our college. The door of the main deity's room was shut and there was no one around. It had been a long time since I had even cared to look at it whenever I had crossed it. But today was different. I removed my slippers and entered the temple. I sat down near one of the pillars of the temple. And I closed my eyes.

And for the very first time for as long as I can remember, I thanked God.

I thanked him for showing me what if felt like to get an opportunity to stand on my own legs.

I thanked him for making me a part of so lovely a class and so large-hearted a group of classmates friends.

I thanked him for showing me what it felt like to be loved and cared.

And a few minutes later, I walked out of the temple, still a rationalist, but with a deeper understanding of what love and gratitude meant.