Though the amazing song by Gilbert O'Sullivan that serves as the title would make for a very good post, I guess I would reserve it for some other day perhaps as this post is comparatively more important being a post about the urge/craving/desire of a college-going hostel-staying boy to be alone.
I don't understand if it is a result of the so-dominating social networks without which life has become unimaginable. I don't understand if it is a result of the large family structures that form a significant part of our Indian culture. I don't understand if it is the emphasis by most of the educational institutions and organizations, at present, for ample collective efforts.
But when you prefer to remain seated, separately, on certain evenings on a stone bench at your hostel from a group of friends seated and chatting on a nearby bench or when you prefer to take a longer route, alone, to your hostel from your college canteen instead of accompanying a group of friends on a shorter route, the reactions vary right from irreverent mockery to serious sermons about the value of friendship.
And the moment you give voice to the thought in your head - I want to be alone for sometime - you get the rare opportunity of seeing the faces of your otherwise care-about-nothing friends adorn extremely worried looks.
Reminder to self: Never ever mouth the words 'I want to be alone' again.
It baffles me as to why the desire to be alone is misinterpreted by many as a symptom of mental instability. And when you have an unsuccessful romantic history, the symptom always automatically turns into a confirmed sign of pleading to be cured.
Reminder to self: Share about your romantic history, especially if it is an unsuccessful one, to as few people as possible (except perhaps the blog!).
I guess a major reason for the misinterpretation is owed to the general confusion between 'being alone' and 'being lonely'.
I generally prefer to visit our college canteen alone, which if you are a college student is similar to committing a crime as serious as the one accused of the film PK by certain Hindu religious groups. We don't have any reasons but it is just wrong.
Now, 'being lonely' in this situation would suggest that I stand indifferently at a table, a hopeless plate of hot and over-fried aloo paratha before me, with a possibly-in-love couple standing beside my table as I stare jealously at them, laughing over a silly joke.
But I prefer being alone.
And 'being alone' would suggest that I stand peacefully at a table, a steaming plate of roasted and a tad crispy aloo paratha before me, with a possibly-first-time-together-to-the-canteen couple standing beside my table as I observe them unconsciously, noticing that the girl is trying to fake a laugh being more concerned about the guy's plate than his joke, perhaps a result of her having ordered the wrong dish.
I like visiting our hostel mess early and if possible alone, which if you are a hosteler is similar to being a major political party in Tamil Nadu looked at eagerly by the smaller political parties prior to an election. Why don't you join us instead?
Now, 'being lonely' would suggest that I sit alone at an eight-people-seating table, slowly munching at my food as my ears unwillingly open up to lines like 'Machaan..Onnu keppaen..Namma class Swetha irukkaa la...', '..nallaa kuduthaan paaru da Moodar Koodam nu oru padam..', '..thammudu, naaku urugaya dabba ivvu..', '..porumaya aadu da nu sonnaa periya punaku maari erangi vanthu aaduraan..', '..innikum class vittu velila thorathittan da antha bucket mandayan..' from the tables surrounding me.
But I prefer being alone.
And 'being alone' would suggest that I sit with my legs fully stretched with a fully filled water jug at a neatly shining steel table, slowly tasting the chappathi with the side-dish wondering how do they maintain the taste absolutely similar to the one that was tasted on the first week of the semester's commencement as my ears help me recognize a guy with a romantic problem that is going to get worse by the advice of his friends, a guy with a very average taste in films, a guy who does not have any inhibitions in emptying his friend's homemade pickle, a guy who takes every cricket match he plays seriously and a guy who finds it extremely difficult to wake up every morning.
Is it wrong wanting to be alone in a canteen, able to observe a guy who sneakily tries to gulp down a piece from his friend's fried pav-bhaji as his friend leaves to wash his hands instead of being a part of any group that irrelevantly tries to guess as to how a fair skinned girl and a dark skinned boy got into a relationship?
Is it wrong wanting to walk alone in an avenue noticing that the gulmohar trees have started blossoming instead of being a part of any group that refers to a boy walking ahead as the guy who was the ex-lover of a girl who had been seen at the college canteen two days ago?
I guess it is time people with misconstrued perceptions started understanding the difference between being alone and being lonely and stopped giving sad looks of 'How poor a soul?'.
Wanting to be alone is, after all, a happy voluntary choice.
Please stop looking at it as a problem and start embracing it for what it is - a preference.
If not, the world would become a place filled with a large number of people who talked and talked and talked and talked amidst a very less number of people who listened.
I don't understand if it is a result of the so-dominating social networks without which life has become unimaginable. I don't understand if it is a result of the large family structures that form a significant part of our Indian culture. I don't understand if it is the emphasis by most of the educational institutions and organizations, at present, for ample collective efforts.
But when you prefer to remain seated, separately, on certain evenings on a stone bench at your hostel from a group of friends seated and chatting on a nearby bench or when you prefer to take a longer route, alone, to your hostel from your college canteen instead of accompanying a group of friends on a shorter route, the reactions vary right from irreverent mockery to serious sermons about the value of friendship.
And the moment you give voice to the thought in your head - I want to be alone for sometime - you get the rare opportunity of seeing the faces of your otherwise care-about-nothing friends adorn extremely worried looks.
Reminder to self: Never ever mouth the words 'I want to be alone' again.
It baffles me as to why the desire to be alone is misinterpreted by many as a symptom of mental instability. And when you have an unsuccessful romantic history, the symptom always automatically turns into a confirmed sign of pleading to be cured.
Reminder to self: Share about your romantic history, especially if it is an unsuccessful one, to as few people as possible (except perhaps the blog!).
I guess a major reason for the misinterpretation is owed to the general confusion between 'being alone' and 'being lonely'.
I generally prefer to visit our college canteen alone, which if you are a college student is similar to committing a crime as serious as the one accused of the film PK by certain Hindu religious groups. We don't have any reasons but it is just wrong.
Now, 'being lonely' in this situation would suggest that I stand indifferently at a table, a hopeless plate of hot and over-fried aloo paratha before me, with a possibly-in-love couple standing beside my table as I stare jealously at them, laughing over a silly joke.
But I prefer being alone.
And 'being alone' would suggest that I stand peacefully at a table, a steaming plate of roasted and a tad crispy aloo paratha before me, with a possibly-first-time-together-to-the-canteen couple standing beside my table as I observe them unconsciously, noticing that the girl is trying to fake a laugh being more concerned about the guy's plate than his joke, perhaps a result of her having ordered the wrong dish.
I like visiting our hostel mess early and if possible alone, which if you are a hosteler is similar to being a major political party in Tamil Nadu looked at eagerly by the smaller political parties prior to an election. Why don't you join us instead?
Now, 'being lonely' would suggest that I sit alone at an eight-people-seating table, slowly munching at my food as my ears unwillingly open up to lines like 'Machaan..Onnu keppaen..Namma class Swetha irukkaa la...', '..nallaa kuduthaan paaru da Moodar Koodam nu oru padam..', '..thammudu, naaku urugaya dabba ivvu..', '..porumaya aadu da nu sonnaa periya punaku maari erangi vanthu aaduraan..', '..innikum class vittu velila thorathittan da antha bucket mandayan..' from the tables surrounding me.
But I prefer being alone.
And 'being alone' would suggest that I sit with my legs fully stretched with a fully filled water jug at a neatly shining steel table, slowly tasting the chappathi with the side-dish wondering how do they maintain the taste absolutely similar to the one that was tasted on the first week of the semester's commencement as my ears help me recognize a guy with a romantic problem that is going to get worse by the advice of his friends, a guy with a very average taste in films, a guy who does not have any inhibitions in emptying his friend's homemade pickle, a guy who takes every cricket match he plays seriously and a guy who finds it extremely difficult to wake up every morning.
Is it wrong wanting to be alone in a canteen, able to observe a guy who sneakily tries to gulp down a piece from his friend's fried pav-bhaji as his friend leaves to wash his hands instead of being a part of any group that irrelevantly tries to guess as to how a fair skinned girl and a dark skinned boy got into a relationship?
Is it wrong wanting to walk alone in an avenue noticing that the gulmohar trees have started blossoming instead of being a part of any group that refers to a boy walking ahead as the guy who was the ex-lover of a girl who had been seen at the college canteen two days ago?
I guess it is time people with misconstrued perceptions started understanding the difference between being alone and being lonely and stopped giving sad looks of 'How poor a soul?'.
Wanting to be alone is, after all, a happy voluntary choice.
Please stop looking at it as a problem and start embracing it for what it is - a preference.
If not, the world would become a place filled with a large number of people who talked and talked and talked and talked amidst a very less number of people who listened.
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