Leaving behind love...

(A fictional piece dedicated to an angel who made a man out of me)

"How would it be if we had black stars on a white sky?", she asked with a serious face, looking at the dark night sky. I did not care to look at the stars. I was looking at one, seated beside me, on the lawn that spread before my office building.

"I am going to miss these questions", I replied in a sad tone.

She remained silent. Her silence always signaled the start of a sad thought train in her head. I wished I had the power to derail her sad thought trains. I wished I had the power to command her brain to stop overthinking though I loved the way her face shrunk with a sad thought.

"What did your boyfriend say?", I asked her, putting up a red signal to her thought train, with the fear of starting another. She had met her boyfriend an hour ago. 

"The usual stuff - 'Don't take a new job in an unknown place. You will get a better one here. I am scared of a long distance relationship.'" 

A teardrop rolled down her cheek. I knew she liked talking while crying and I remained silent.

"I am scared too. Shit scared." Her handkerchief came out. "What if I turn uninteresting over messages and phone calls and Skype?" The blue flowers on her handkerchief were getting watered. "What if he decides to end it? What if I am making the biggest mistake of my life?" The handkerchief covered her entire face. Her hair strands falling across the handkerchief made the blue flowers part of a hanging garden.

I let her cry knowing that she would scold me if I tried consoling her and she would scold me worse if I did not.
Five minutes later, her handkerchief curtain came down, revealing her face that had become so beautiful with the mascara mess. I raised my left hand to point to it but she quickly grabbed it and locked it between her hands. The pressure in her grip revealed her pain. I wished it could be wiped away as easily as her mascara.

"What will I do without you?" she asked. A teardrop rolled down her cheek. I realized I had to keep my handkerchief ready.
And suddenly, as if she had attained enlightenment, her face turned calm. Letting my hand go, she fixed her stare upon me. As I looked at her eyes, my heart skipped a beat. I recognized the stare. I knew what followed next and she uttered it seconds later.
"I feel I am a magician whose most powerful trick is to push myself away from the people I love the most".

My head began spinning in its three year old memory. A teardrop rolled down my cheek. "Maybe it is not your fault. Maybe I am the magician and you ended up getting hurt because you were part of my trick", I told her.

She lifted her hand and placed it on my cheek, a smile appearing across her face. My teardrop rolled down across her fingers. She then moved closer and hugged me. I slowly joined my arms around her.
We were ready for our big magic trick.

****

Three years ago

"Did she really admire me?" my mom asked, excited.

"Yes", I replied. My mom smiled and let silence prevail.

A mild breeze was blowing upon us on our terrace. The sun was on its slow rise and flocks of birds were starting their day's duties.

"Why do you think a girl like her would not like me?" I asked my mom. I felt she would hold the best answer, me being her creation.
"It was not that she did not like you. She just liked someone else more. There is a difference", she replied. I wondered how she constantly managed to look at life standing behind a glass of goodness.

"Do you think I committed a mistake waving her a final goodbye? Do you think I should have stayed a good friend?" I asked my mom, knowing the answer I wanted.
"I do not have an answer to that", my mom replied and added,"But life is pleasant in the way that it rarely lets you reach a point where it is too late to correct things".

"I feel I should just stay away from her", I announced, after a minute of thought.

My mom turned to fix her stare upon me. Her face looked calm. As I looked at her eyes, I was able to hear what she was about to say. The world heard it seconds later.
"Along with my artistic skills and shy nature, I feel that I have also passed on to you my magic of pushing myself away from the people I love the most".

For the first time in my life, she did not seem a mother. Standing beside me was a normal woman with her own pains and sufferings. A teardrop rolled down my cheek.
"Maybe I was intended to be the magician all along. Maybe you don't have to carry it further, having passed it on to me", I whispered, stepping closer to her.

My mom lifted her hand and placed it on my cheek. She then hugged me.
I could feel magic coursing throughout my body.