(A conversation I want to record here as a constant reminder to this amateur writer who, in his real life, often contradicts the advice he offers)
My friend and I were riding to a theater on his motorbike. We were not wearing helmets and a pleasant evening breeze was kissing our faces constantly. After a 5 minute silent ride, we came to a halt at a traffic signal.
"I am scared of what is going on between me and X", my friend said, as vehicles in the opposite lane began rushing past us.
"Is something actually going on?!", I joked.
Landing a punch with his elbow, he continued. "I feel that we are going to end up in a relationship but I am scared of it".
I remained silent. He turned to look at me like a determined teacher who would not proceed till an answer is given.
"Let me tell you from personal experience. We feel a lot of things inside. But only a small - a really small - portion of those feelings actually happen in real life" I told him.
It was evident from his face that he had not wanted that answer. So he proceeded with his side of the story.
"I am scared because I keep thinking about my ability to maintain a relationship. And I do not know if I will be really good in putting in the effort".
"What effort?", I asked him.
"Being there for her always. Understanding all her pleasures and problems. Being really possessive yet not too controlling. All the usual effort", he answered.
"But it is not that you are going to be the only one putting in all the effort, right?", I asked him as the traffic signal changed to green.
My question shocked my friend. It shocked him so badly that he was unable to start the motorbike, frustrating the cars and lorries behind. Somehow, a few seconds later, he managed to start the motorbike and a few hundred meters further, he stopped the bike at a corner.
"Repeat your question", he told me, bending forward to rest his head on the speedometer of the bike.
"It is not that you are going to be the only one putting in all the effort, right?", I obediently repeated.
Hearing the question, my friend let out a hearty laugh. I placed my hand on his shoulder and patted it a few times because I understood the realization that had hit him.
The same realization had hit me only a year ago.
I had always been worried if I had had enough love, if I had had enough time, if I had had enough talent that I had failed to think that the other person would also be contributing.
Love had always been thought of as a one-sided effort.
And it pained me to know that a few of my friends continue to think so.
"Did you understand that love is a two-sided game?", I asked my friend, a minute later, shaking him up from his epiphany.
He nodded with a smile. "But even if she does not...", he started but I did not let him complete. I knew what he was about to say.
"You do not become God", I told him in a raised voice. "Trust me. You do not have to prove anyone that you can love a person unconditionally."
My friend turned to look at me and understood that I meant every word of it.
"Anyways.." he started again but I placed my hand over his mouth.
"I care immensely about you and your love life but we have a film that is going to start in 15 minutes. And I really do not want to miss the titles" I said firmly.
My friend gave me an angry stare and started his motorbike.
Fifteen minutes later, I sat inside the theater a happy man - Happy that I had been able to guide my friend and happier that the titles of the film had not yet begun.
My friend and I were riding to a theater on his motorbike. We were not wearing helmets and a pleasant evening breeze was kissing our faces constantly. After a 5 minute silent ride, we came to a halt at a traffic signal.
"I am scared of what is going on between me and X", my friend said, as vehicles in the opposite lane began rushing past us.
"Is something actually going on?!", I joked.
Landing a punch with his elbow, he continued. "I feel that we are going to end up in a relationship but I am scared of it".
I remained silent. He turned to look at me like a determined teacher who would not proceed till an answer is given.
"Let me tell you from personal experience. We feel a lot of things inside. But only a small - a really small - portion of those feelings actually happen in real life" I told him.
It was evident from his face that he had not wanted that answer. So he proceeded with his side of the story.
"I am scared because I keep thinking about my ability to maintain a relationship. And I do not know if I will be really good in putting in the effort".
"What effort?", I asked him.
"Being there for her always. Understanding all her pleasures and problems. Being really possessive yet not too controlling. All the usual effort", he answered.
"But it is not that you are going to be the only one putting in all the effort, right?", I asked him as the traffic signal changed to green.
My question shocked my friend. It shocked him so badly that he was unable to start the motorbike, frustrating the cars and lorries behind. Somehow, a few seconds later, he managed to start the motorbike and a few hundred meters further, he stopped the bike at a corner.
"Repeat your question", he told me, bending forward to rest his head on the speedometer of the bike.
"It is not that you are going to be the only one putting in all the effort, right?", I obediently repeated.
Hearing the question, my friend let out a hearty laugh. I placed my hand on his shoulder and patted it a few times because I understood the realization that had hit him.
The same realization had hit me only a year ago.
I had always been worried if I had had enough love, if I had had enough time, if I had had enough talent that I had failed to think that the other person would also be contributing.
Love had always been thought of as a one-sided effort.
And it pained me to know that a few of my friends continue to think so.
"Did you understand that love is a two-sided game?", I asked my friend, a minute later, shaking him up from his epiphany.
He nodded with a smile. "But even if she does not...", he started but I did not let him complete. I knew what he was about to say.
"You do not become God", I told him in a raised voice. "Trust me. You do not have to prove anyone that you can love a person unconditionally."
My friend turned to look at me and understood that I meant every word of it.
"Anyways.." he started again but I placed my hand over his mouth.
"I care immensely about you and your love life but we have a film that is going to start in 15 minutes. And I really do not want to miss the titles" I said firmly.
My friend gave me an angry stare and started his motorbike.
Fifteen minutes later, I sat inside the theater a happy man - Happy that I had been able to guide my friend and happier that the titles of the film had not yet begun.
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