"People lie more while talking to each other than while using the written/typed form - messages, mails and letters." This is a statement made by Jeff Hancock, Communications and Information Science professor at Cornell University during a TED talk. But how many of us would believe that?
We generally live under the false assumption that people while talking face to face are more wary and conscious of being caught lying and hence prefer the safer method of written/typed communication to put forth their lies. But evolution shows us that with the spoken form having originated very prior to its counterpart, it is the former where people remain untrue more as opposed to our belief.
I have always had a problem speaking to any person face to face, irrespective of their closeness to me. This attitude of mine has got nothing to do with the above context but is just a simple result of my introverted nature.
But then I would have to consider carefully as to if I am really an introvert.
The comfort and ease that I have while pouring my heart out in a mail or a message or even a post like this for instance is something swell. But the discomfort that creeps up as soon as I look into the eyes of the same person that I had spoken with earlier through a mail or a message seems completely contrary. I have wondered many a day as to why such a problem exists.
Most of my cherished relationships have been strengthened only by mails and messages. The bonding with my brother became stronger only by our mails. The friendship with my dear buddy became stronger only by our text messages. Even my love story has a more than fair share devoted to text messages.
As a writer, I am happy that there is a voluminous work available as a testament of my cherished relationships. But as a romantic at heart, the lack of more memorable real time experiences does make me sad.
If the discomfort prevailed for a relatively new person, one could probably agree that the shyness factor would have been a cause. But when the scenario persists even to someone close, the question does loom large.
Whenever I meet my brother or buddy in person, there is definitely a warmth in my heart and I celebrate every moment spent in their company. But still the liberating/exhilarating feeling of pouring out in a mail or a message is seldom felt during a conversation.
When for a person of the opposite gender, the scenario becomes even more worse. The thought of an irksome remark and the fear of the uncomfortable silence makes me tremble at the sight of any girl and with age, it only seems to be getting worse, further adding to my impuissance. But a mail or a message in this same scenario has a completely different outcome where the gates of the heart unlock themselves by a very mild breeze.
Why is this so? Why this discomfort when faced with the person alone?
The problem is not something Goliath but it holds a key to my position in this world dominated by social networks and group discussions.
Being a student of science, the first person I turned to seeking a solution was Sigmund Freud. But his works and observations only seem to compound the question. And I realized that the answer lay not with that Austrian genius but with this Indian pretending-to-be-a-writer introvert.
I have been pondering over the issue for quite some time now asking myself again and again as to what my inner fear was. But only today it struck me.
So far, I had been trying to seek the answer the wrong way. I had been trying to have a 'conversation' with myself.
And I stopped it.
I realized that a short text message would get a more effective response. And so, I sent a text message from my lower pumping base to my upper command center.
I still keep waiting for the reply as my mind wanders to Jeff Hancock's statement for some unknown reason.
And accompanying it seems to be a quote form Oscar Wilde.
"Man is least himself when he talks in person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."
As I try hard to understand the underlying connection, the wait continues for an answer that is true enough.
We generally live under the false assumption that people while talking face to face are more wary and conscious of being caught lying and hence prefer the safer method of written/typed communication to put forth their lies. But evolution shows us that with the spoken form having originated very prior to its counterpart, it is the former where people remain untrue more as opposed to our belief.
I have always had a problem speaking to any person face to face, irrespective of their closeness to me. This attitude of mine has got nothing to do with the above context but is just a simple result of my introverted nature.
But then I would have to consider carefully as to if I am really an introvert.
The comfort and ease that I have while pouring my heart out in a mail or a message or even a post like this for instance is something swell. But the discomfort that creeps up as soon as I look into the eyes of the same person that I had spoken with earlier through a mail or a message seems completely contrary. I have wondered many a day as to why such a problem exists.
Most of my cherished relationships have been strengthened only by mails and messages. The bonding with my brother became stronger only by our mails. The friendship with my dear buddy became stronger only by our text messages. Even my love story has a more than fair share devoted to text messages.
As a writer, I am happy that there is a voluminous work available as a testament of my cherished relationships. But as a romantic at heart, the lack of more memorable real time experiences does make me sad.
Whenever I meet my brother or buddy in person, there is definitely a warmth in my heart and I celebrate every moment spent in their company. But still the liberating/exhilarating feeling of pouring out in a mail or a message is seldom felt during a conversation.
When for a person of the opposite gender, the scenario becomes even more worse. The thought of an irksome remark and the fear of the uncomfortable silence makes me tremble at the sight of any girl and with age, it only seems to be getting worse, further adding to my impuissance. But a mail or a message in this same scenario has a completely different outcome where the gates of the heart unlock themselves by a very mild breeze.
Why is this so? Why this discomfort when faced with the person alone?
The problem is not something Goliath but it holds a key to my position in this world dominated by social networks and group discussions.
Being a student of science, the first person I turned to seeking a solution was Sigmund Freud. But his works and observations only seem to compound the question. And I realized that the answer lay not with that Austrian genius but with this Indian pretending-to-be-a-writer introvert.
I have been pondering over the issue for quite some time now asking myself again and again as to what my inner fear was. But only today it struck me.
So far, I had been trying to seek the answer the wrong way. I had been trying to have a 'conversation' with myself.
And I stopped it.
I realized that a short text message would get a more effective response. And so, I sent a text message from my lower pumping base to my upper command center.
I still keep waiting for the reply as my mind wanders to Jeff Hancock's statement for some unknown reason.
And accompanying it seems to be a quote form Oscar Wilde.
"Man is least himself when he talks in person. Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."
As I try hard to understand the underlying connection, the wait continues for an answer that is true enough.
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